Sunday, November 27, 2011

A Thanksgiving Tale

It all started when I cut off the tops of the celery a few days before Thanksgiving, and without thinking, put them in the sink disposal.  It doesn’t like celery, I know this, but I was in a cooking frenzy and just did not think.  Besides, it was only tops from 2 stalks – the curly leafy parts, not the stringy stalky parts, and I figured I was ok.

The next day, dh tells me the sink is not draining right.  I sigh, and blithely say, “oh really?”  He fishes around in there and pulls out strands of celery and says, “SOMEONE must have put celery in here!”  Of course I always confess my transgressions.  “Hmmm, must have been me, Rockie can’t reach the sink.” Rockie is our 105lb yellow lab, who really could reach the sink if he wanted to.  I humbly accepted blame and went on to my sewing room.  It is never wise to be in the same room with a man who has tools or who puts his hand down the disposal.

A few minutes later he came in showing me a blue rubber “thingy” asking me if I knew what it was.  That never bodes well.  Spare parts are a sure sign he has been mucking around where he should not.  “Nope,” I reply, and he has the good sense to set it on the windowsill in the event that when things turn tragic (and of course they will) he can always go back and get the blue rubber thingy and say, “Ohhhhhh, that’s were that goes.”

Chapter 1:
It is Thanksgiving Morning and I have a defrosting turkey on the counter, stuffing in a bowl (I was careful to put the celery tops in the trash), breakfast burritos cooking on the stove, bread toasting in the oven, and cranberries going in the blender.  The mixer is beating sugar and butter for a chocolate pie and I am smashing vanilla wafers for a crust.  Dh walks in and says with a completely straight face, “are you going to need the sink today?”  I was picturing how he would look with a stick of butter protruding from each ear and a bag of frozen corn plastered to his face, when I composed myself and with an equally straight face replied, “um, yes, I need the sink today.”  I left the “I am cooking a stinkin’ thanksgiving dinner in here in case you hadn’t noticed,” unsaid.  He replied, “well, you can use the sink, but don’t run any water.”

OK, I am thinking, that’s no problem, as I am mentally dumping cranberry sauce down his shorts.  Thankfully my son comes in at just this moment with a jar of super Drano and a drain auger.  Ahhh, a man with tools.  Eric’s girlfriend, Jess and I vacate the kitchen, with a bottle of Moscato, to sit on the porch while the reaming of my kitchen sink progresses.  Now you already know that this will not turn out well, don’t you?  So Jess and I sit on the back porch – it was a beautiful sunny warm day – drinking wine as we chit chat, when all of a sudden I hear the drain auger engage.  I am thinking Jean Luke Picard is in my kitchen, standing behind man and boy saying with a pointing finger. . . .”engage.”

This is a good noise I tell myself, until I look up, with a perfect view of the window over the sink, and see the end of the drain auger descending from the roof!  How the hell. . . . heck. . . I say to myself!?!?  I shout into the kitchen, “the end of that thingy is descending from the roof.  Is it supposed to do that?”  I know, women should never have to ask stupid questions like that because we already KNOW it’s not supposed to do that, but you often have to humor men.  Because I simply couldn’t stop the words as they came out of my mouth I uttered, “I don’t think the clog is in the vent pipe.”  I know, pure selfish indulgence.

So up goes the end of the auger thingy, back down the vent pipe and up into the sink drain.  When we see the auger dangling once again from the eaves, we can't suppress our mirth, and by this time Jess and I are laughing so hard that we are crossing our legs.  That only serves to cement the intentions of the men to make a bigger mess than they first planned.  Alas, I am pretty sure it was worth it.  Soon the auger comes out onto the back porch where we are sitting, no, not through the drain this time.  We are told it must air dry.  And of course everyone knows there is no air in the garage!!!

I am afraid to ask if the drain is unclogged.  But I am told that the water is running smoothly down the drain. In a normal household that would bode well. 

Chapter 2:
Oh no dear reader, you didn’t think it was fixed, did you?  Silly you.  No, we now all troop outside to trace the odd sound of dripping water and assemble "en masse" in the backyard, outside the kitchen window, watching water pour from the vinyl siding.  I am thinking to myself (dare not say it out loud), "is that normal for vinyl siding?"

Nope, drain is not only still plugged, but now the water line in the wall is busted and pouring water out through the siding to the ground below.  Hmmmm, I am thinking.  I would have called the plumber about $200 worth of damage ago.  But not my intrepid “we can fix it” husband and son.  They want to be sure it is broken beyond repair and sure to cost twice as much to fix before they consider calling a plumber. 

I do have to give my son a bit of credit, however.  He did mention that it might be a good idea to “call someone.”  I did not hear what my husband responded to that comment (I was too busy fleeing the scene in case the celery was mentioned)  but I am pretty sure it was something like, “heck no, we still have a lot more damage to cause on the biggest cooking day of the year before we call someone.”  Jess and I  retreated to the kitchen, stood there looking at each other, every cleaning product in the world interspersed between all our cooking efforts, wondering if we should call out for Chinese. 

With the last of the draino running down the siding killing the grass below it, we felt we might as well plow onward and stuff the bird.  What the heck, "we don't need no stinking sink" (in my best John Wayne accent) to fix Thanksgiving dinner.

Now I know where the term “slop bucket” comes from.

Dinner turned out fine, the turkey was delicious, the stuffing was perfect, the cranberry and cream cheeze appetizer that Jess made was to die for, and the chocolate pie was a wonderful as always.  Thank goodness THAT part of the day was not a disaster. 

All in all, it was a memorable and fun Thanksgiving.  Always good to have the kids home for holidays.  Just so you know, dh washed the dishes that night in the bathroom sink and rinsed them in the shower.  I put my feet up and finished off the moscato.

Hope you had a great thanksgiving.

Epilogue:  Just in case you were curious about how this whole thing turned out, on Black Friday (so aptly named for once) husband called 2 plumbers, both of whom were enjoying a work-free holiday weekend.  Busted drain and mess remain, until sometime next week.  Dishes remain stacked in the shower.  And I am downstairs in my studio working on a quilt.  And my dh is indeed a lucky man.  Snatched from the claws of death yet again by quilt therapy.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Final BOM Block of 2011 posted

The final installment of the 2011 BOM is now posted.  It includes the SIX borders in the Jewels in the Crown Quilt.  I can't wait to see pictures of your finished quilts.

The winner from this month's JEWELSBOM Flicker Group is:

and her incredible quilt top put together (except for the borders!)

Look at her amazing pieced setting and corner triangles.  And I just love the colors she used in her blocks and sashing.  Becky you win a Charm Pack and a free subscription to the complete BOM for 2012!!!! (send me your snail addy so I can send you your prize!)  But your best prize is owning that incredible quilt!

Don't you think her quilt looks absolutely amazing!!!!  WOW.

A runner up winner, just cuz I love her adaptation, is
Sue F 
and here is a picture of her quilt.

Sue chose to do solid setting and corner triangles (and who can blame her!?!?)  and I think they look just great!  Sue also wins a Charm pack and a subscription to the 2012 BOM.

Thanks to Sue and Becky for playing along all year!  That is some dedication and I am grateful to you both for posting pictures of your almost completed tops.  WOW

So click on over to the JEWELS BOM page (see those tabs at the top??) and pick up your free finishing instructions for this quilt, available ONLY during the month of december.  If you haven't downloaded your free sashing and setting instructions/patterns yet please do so by November 30.  After that they will be available for purchase on my website:

Hope you are having a fabulous Thanksgiving weekend.

NOTE:  And no, our outdoor Christmas lights do not go up during these balmy November days.  My husband prefers to wait until the temperatures plummets, ice coats the laddar, and frigid winds begin to blow before he ventures outside for that little chore.  I can only guess it gets him in the holiday spirit more???)  :-)

Saturday, November 19, 2011

I am a Guest Blogger on "Sew We Quilt"

Wasn't I suprised to get an invite to be a guest blogger on the INFAMOUS

 Sew We Quilt Blog by Madam Samm!!! 

She invited me to do an EQ7 tutorial and I decided to do one showing how I draw the blocks for my new 2012 FREE Block of the Month.

Tune in to her blog TODAY, November 21, to see my tut on drawing the Periwinkle Flower.


I also will be showing how I turn that single flower block into a WREATH using the EQ7 WreathMaker tool.


Ohh, and come back here and leave a comment and you will be entered to win a complete set of patterns for the 2012 BOM! 

Now if I was an infomercial I would say, "AND THAT'S NOT ALL. . . "

In addition to the 42 single flower blocks, all 42 crossing blocks, and all 42 wreath blocks, you get complete finishing instructions!  (Sort of makes you want to get out your Sham Wow! or Slap Chop and sing along doesn't it?)  LOL 

As always, thanks for following along.  You are the best!